Losing Sight
by catchingeverdeen
Summary: Nothing is safe. No memory or thought or dream. Everything is wrong, and it all leads back to her. She must be stopped. / Nothing is real anymore. No one can be trusted. Not even Me. -Peeta's capture, torture, and hijacking.
1. Victor, Caught

_"I warn you dear child, if I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?"_

**_The Queen of Hearts, _**_Alice in Wonderland_

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><p>The first thing I feel is confusion.<p>

There's a dull throbbing in my left temple, my ears are ringing, and it takes my eyes an unusually long time to adjust to the blinding light of the room I'm in. I have no clue where I am, how I got here, or how long it's been since that last night in the arena when everything went wrong.

I try to lift my hand up, to brush the straggly hair from my eyes, and find it's pinned to my side. I glance down and see that both of my arms are bound to the bed, and a shiny steel bar holds my chest to the bed I lay in. I wonder if I'm so injured that I'm being held still in order to heal properly.

Those final moments in the arena come back to me in flashes. Beetee and Finnick wrapping wire around the tree. Johanna and Katniss disappearing into the trees with the other end of the wire. Brutus killing Chaff, then killing Brutus myself.

And Katniss. Her voice calling out to me from somewhere impossible to reach, sounding scared and brave and distant. Then the explosion. And nothing more.

Katniss. Where is she now? Did she survive the explosion? Her voice rings through my mind, the voice of her calling out to me. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what transpired that night when a concealed door to my left slides open and a Peacekeeper strides in.

Why isn't it a healer? This woman's face is set in a hard, unreadable expression. I open my mouth to ask for answers, but she speaks before the words leave my lips.

"The President has demanded you be brought to his quarters immediately. You are not to speak unless spoken to. Understand?" Her voice is clipped and monotone and sends a shiver of fear down my spine. President Snow? Why? What's going on? I swallow hard and nod.

_Where's Katniss?_

The questions plague my mind as the Peacekeeper, whose nameplate reads '47427', pushes a button that releases my chest and wrist restraints. The freedom is temporary because the moment I attempt to sit up, cringing at the unexpected pain in my ribs, I am forced to my feet, bound by the wrists and shoved out the door unceremoniously.

I don't get a ton of time to absorb my surroundings because the Peacekeeper leads me briskly down the hall and into an adjacent one, around another corner and to a grand set of double doors. It's all I can do not to fall to the ground, trying to maintain my balance with the artificial leg I'm still not completely used to.

I do realize, however, that this is not a hospital.

Suddenly I want to run. I want to find Katniss, get out of this place as fast as we can, and go home. Settle back into a familiar rhythm, though I sense her feelings towards me have shifted since being in the arena. Maybe we could have a real relationship, the kind I thought we would have after our first Games... but it's too much to hope for. Something tells me I won't be going home any time soon.

The doors swing slowly open without a sound and I'm hit by the inexplicable smell of roses.


	2. Lock and Key

_"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws. "_

_**The Caterpillar, **_Alice in Wonderland

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><p>The president looms behind a large wooden desk, his fingertips resting on its reflective surface. A single white rose peeks out of his pocket and I guess that it's been modified somehow because no single rose emits the amount of scent that fills the room. There's something else underneath the heavy floral air, but I can't quite place it.<p>

It's strange seeing him indoors; though the room is large and very official-looking, it's hard to adjust to him not being on a podium with flags and a crowd gathered nearby. For some reason, this more intimate setting makes him more terrifying than usual.

His eyes narrow as the peacekeeper hauls me into the room. He lifts his chin slightly and she steps back, releasing me from her iron grip and causing me to stumble forward as I regain my footing. The lack of clean oxygen is already making me lightheaded.

"This will be easier for both of us if we get straight to business, yes?" The tense control he holds in his voice doesn't hide his anger. He was not expecting what went down in the arena any more than I was.

I nod once. Clench my teeth together. This man elicits an anger from so deep down within me that it pushes the confusion I felt earlier to the back of my mind; I'm not used to this level of rage.

"First things first: where is Katniss Everdeen?" My anger becomes clouded with confusion again as I try to make sense of his question. I just assumed Katniss was somewhere nearby... that they'd captured her at the same time as me...

Where is she?

"I don't know," I say in a careful voice. "I thought she was here." The already-pale skin of Snow's face drains of color and his mouth twitches slightly. So she's not here. Did she die in the arena? Is her body still there, decomposing in the humid jungle air? I can't assemble the jumbled pieces of this puzzle in my mind.

He studies me through snake-like eyes for a while, and I do my best not to look as scared as I feel. If Katniss is not here, then it's possible she's safe somewhere. I can't let myself process the alternative... but maybe even that's better than whatever awaits her here.

Finally he stands up, straightens his blood red tie and seems to make a decision on the spot. "Peacekeeper Reed," he addresses the woman behind me and she steps obediently towards me. "Take him to The Alley. Give him a cell next to our District 7 friend."

_Johanna. _ A new wave of confusion interferes with the fear that seems to be settling in for good. Why is Johanna here, but not Katniss? What about Finnick and the others? Beetee, Enobaria... above everything, this insistent tug in my chest longs for Katniss to be somewhere safe. Even if that means everyone else isn't.

I'm dragged again down the hallway and through the massive building. I think we must be in Snow's private home; we pass several deserted-looking rooms and a darkened bathroom before the air turns cold and the lights fade almost completely to dark.

We've entered some sort of dungeon. The smell of waste and decay threaten to knock me out completely; low sounds of human suffering make my heart sink. One familiar voice breaks through the dozens and I'm tossed into the metal cage next to her: Johanna.

I wait until the peacekeeper closes and locks the front of the cell, then I press myself as close to Johanna's as possible. She stands, unmoving, against the wall farthest from me. She's not making pained sounds like the others, but is rather groaning in exasperation like she's being inconvenienced rather than imprisoned.

"Johanna," I hiss through my teeth, trying not to draw attention to us. I don't know why we're all being held here, but I can guess that it has something to do with whatever went down in the arena.

She pauses her frustrated sounds for a moment and narrows her eyes at me. "Loverboy from District Twelve. Fancy seeing you here. I was hoping for less... annoying neighbor, but better you than old Volts, I guess." She studies me for a moment then begins studiously examining her finger nails.

"Where's Katniss?" The words have left my mouth before I stop them. Johanna visibly tenses and I wonder what she knows. It's obvious she knows _something_.

She shrugs. "Wherever she is, it's better than here." As indirect as the response is... something about her tone suggests that Johanna knows more than she wants to say out loud. And that's probably best, especially if she knows where Katniss is. The less we discuss, the better.

I assume Finnick and the others are somewhere far from here as well, otherwise wouldn't Snow have imprisoned all of us together?

I watch Johanna pick dirt from under her nails until my leg aches, and another question occurs to me.

"How long has it been since we left the arena?" I have no means of measuring time, but it can't have been too long, can it?

She rolls her eyes and stands up straight, abandoning the wall she'd been leaning against. "You sure are full of questions, aren't you?" A deck of cards materializes in her hands; I assume they'd been stashed in her pocket or something. "Two days." She hands me the cards through the bars that run along the front of our cells. "And we won't be leaving any time soon."


End file.
